Imagine having your skull opened up for a few hours so a surgeon can dig out some invasive tissue, the opening glued, bolted, and drilled back together, and the skin re-affixed with a long row of staples…and then having a (mostly) cogent conversation a couple of hours later. I’m absolutely in awe of what Dr. Fernandez-Miranda and his team were able to do and how easy this recovery has been.

Besides the massive drug cocktail I had during the procedure, I made it through the whole past week with just Tylenol and a muscle relaxer for pain. One day, I decided the tightness of the skin around the surgery site was a little more than I wanted to deal with so I took a baby oxy, the only opioid I’ve had since the day of the surgery. Otherwise, I wouldn’t call any of the feelings in and around my head “pain.” There’s been a little swelling and I don’t like the feeling of the headband of staples, but it doesn’t hurt. All I want to do is sleep.

My desire to journal about this experience was prompted by the belief that I was going to lose my sense of smell entirely. I wanted to keep track of my feelings and gather a notebook of smell memories to help ease me through that loss. Instead, it became a journal of self-advocacy and education…not accepting the first, second, or third opinions but finding the right solution for me. In the process, my ability to smell has been saved!

(Writing this has been exhausting! I took a long break here, including two naps, Mexican dinner, and a few episodes of Ted Lasso.)

In my conversations with Dr. Fernandez before the surgery, he warned me that the tumor was resting on the right olfactory nerve and there was a chance he’d have to cut through it on that side. He was sure he wouldn’t need to get near the nerve on the left side and promised that I would retain my sense of smell, perhaps a little altered. Given the alternatives, this was a big win.

So yes, I ended up losing my sense of smell on the right. The first few days I imagine lots of parts of my head were in shock. My first cups of coffee tasted muddy and metallic. I couldn’t really smell the flowers that I had received. But the food I ate tasted pretty good. I felt like I was tasting everything somewhat correctly. (It was hospital food, so expectations were low.)

A week later, I’m now enjoying all the smells and tastes. I have been reading up on smell therapy to help stimulate smell receptors and retrain the brain when nerves are impacted. Of course, I know my olfactory nerves on the right side will not grow back. But I believe that with a little work, I will get to the point where I don’t notice the loss much, if at all. Our brains can do amazing things!

(I am exhausted just writing this. Hopefully there aren’t too many typos.)