I’m having a big birthday. Funnily enough, it’s not one of the zeros or fives. Nope, today I turned 64.

Back in the 1950s, before a teenaged Paul McCartney started playing rock and roll, he wrote “When I’m Sixty-Four,” a sweet dancehall ditty about growing old with the one you love. According to the Beatles, sixty-four was officially old age. They told us what to look forward to – a quiet life of digging in the garden, knitting, and playing with grandchildren. This vision of getting old always sounded a little boring to me, but also comforting and familiar.

As I approached this point in my life, I thought my biggest worries would be figuring out the best time to retire, the best date to start taking Social Security, and whether I should take up gardening even though I don’t really like it. Instead, I find myself and the country at a crossroads I couldn’t have imagined six months ago.

Over the past year or so, it’s been easy to keep my head down and focus on myself. The tumor took up a lot of my mental energy, and self-care took precedence when I needed it to. While I faced some existential dread and got my affairs in order before the surgery, I was never really in danger of long-term health problems or death. There is some serious longevity in my family, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be around for a long time. Now, with Fernando in the rear-view mirror and another thirty-plus hopefully healthy years ahead of me, I realize that 64 is not the time for nesting or lightening my load.

Our country needs us. Things are not normal. I’m not sure what this next chapter will look like for me, but I can’t sit silently watching the horrors happen. I will speak up, get involved, protest, and do whatever I can to help right this ship. This is going to take a lot more than sharing articles on social media. Public outcry and pressure have moved the needle in the right direction the past couple of days (specifically with the courts and some members of Congress), and the pressure needs to increase. I will do my research and figure out where I can have the most impact.

I don’t know what’s going to happen or whether I’ll be successful, but I do know that things are not going to get any better if I sit on the sidelines relying on my privilege to keep me safe and comfortable. I’m ready to get started. Vera, Chuck, and Dave are going to have to wait.